


For No One

by poetdameron



Series: T70S Tumblr Ask Prompts [6]
Category: That '70s Show
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Drunk confessions, Dubious Morality, F/M, Season 8 Compilant, Things You Said While Drunk, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2018-09-23
Packaged: 2019-07-16 04:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16078748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetdameron/pseuds/poetdameron
Summary: Hyde has always hated to be around people while drunk, especially when the last stage of his drunkness hit: too damn honest, too damn open. It had never been a good idea to have Jackie near him when he is too drunk on her, especially when she is marrying another man.





	For No One

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queerafbucky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerafbucky/gifts).



> I don't have excuses for this fic, except that it was the first one I actually started to write for this fandom and didn't knew the characters that well. I got tired of editing it so much, and ultimately it was the beginning of a longer and bigger story, where the characters were to grow and learn from the mistakes in this fic.
> 
> That fic will never come. I don't have the time to write it, nor the energy. But I still wanted to get this out there.
> 
> Last, if you have tumblr and you liked this, please support me by reblogging the [original post](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/post/176342044449/ok-ok-ok-ok-hydejackie-and-11-things-you-said)!

## For No One

_October 22th, 1983._

“I did! I did love you. You know that, don’t you?”

She was mooning over her fiancée, eyes fixed in the distance, but now she (finally) looked at him.

“What?”

Hyde straightened his back on the uncomfortable chair in one of the cornered tables in the quiet party. The empty glass in his hand smelled like vodka, he make it dance between his fingers, glaring at it, throwing his hate towards the alcohol. I now ruled his entire body and made him say shit he shouldn’t.

He hated being around people when drunk, his three stages of drunkness were all terrible. From loud asshole to bitter jerk, and then to this, this sappy master who said the truth in the worst moments.

Like Jackie’s engagement party.

“Oh, Hyde…” her eyes were warm when they shouldn’t.

She shouldn’t be sitting with him, and she shouldn’t be putting a hand over her heart. The mention of his last name that actually didn’t belong to him, like probably everything in his life, only made it all worse. But he looked right into her big eyes, waiting for her full reaction.

“I know. I loved you, too.”

She did love him back then, but didn’t truly know about his own feelings.

Donna told him this in a cold afternoon after Jackie had left for good, one year ago: the then again redhead had yelled her sadness and frustration at him, blaming him for losing her friend, for Jackie going, leaving them all behind, searching for a new place because she hadn’t felt welcomed by them ever since Chicago.

 _‘Ever since your fucking whore of a wife!’_ , she had said, in those exact words. Donna had apologized days after, still standing on her angriness about Jackie leaving, about how he had  _broken_  her and made her leave, but she hadn’t wanted to truly insult Sam.  _‘She was a victim too, you fucking liar’_ , and Hyde looked at Jackie again in the present.

Jackie, who looked beautiful in her pearl dress. Jackie who called Donna one night, saying she had met someone. Jackie, who then dated that someone for five months. Jackie who then came back, introduced the someone and then got her dream come true when the man stood on one knee at the Water Tower and asked her to marry him right in front of them. Jackie who looked up at her friends, at  _him_ , but said yes anyway.

They had clapped and he had pretended to do it too, just like he had been pretending for so long about—everything? Maybe. Whatever.

She smiled at him again and looked back to where Rob and Forman talked with big smiles. Jackie’s fiancée was a cinema journalist and actually liked to talk about science fiction and comic books with his own best-fucking-friend, the traitor.

He took Forman’s glass, still with his drink in it. The alcohol probably lost in the melted ice, but alcohol still.

Robert wasn’t what Jackie dreamed when they met: he wasn’t rich, Hyde was sure  _he_  had more money than Robert at this point, and he wasn’t all  _that_  good looking. Yet there was something oddly familiar about him.

Maybe it was what Fez had pointed out that afternoon to Brooke and Kelso, when the party started: ‘He does looks like Hyde, doesn’t he?’ They only nodded, like they were trying to be sure Hyde wasn’t listening. Too bad Fez never knew how to shut it and Mrs. Michael Kelso’s little stares were too obvious.

Hyde looked at Rob too. Short curly hair was black, tried to stay shaved clean since he had started seeing Jackie, and was also taller than him, taller than Forman too. Too tall for her.

To him, they didn’t look alike. But they were the same kind of man, if you can say something like that.  _Except_ —

Robert looked back, to Jackie smiling at him and his lips curved into a sweet grin after sending a kiss to her.

Hyde’s jaw ached when he clenched, focusing his eyes on the laughing Forman and happy Donna in front of him, then to Fez dancing with the Kelsos and their now talking and walking daughter.

“I’m sorry I never told you back then…”

She looked at him again. The glow in her eyes was old, like something you need to take the dust off. Weird.

“But you did! Once at Donna’s and then in your room sometimes, remember?” her answer sounded funny to him, he tried not to laugh and only nodded. It was—she was trying to make him feel better, even now. “It’s okay, Hyde.”

“Yeah, but I should—I should have said it more often…” none of them said anything, so he spoke again. “And meant it.”

“You didn’t mean it?”

“What? No!” he corrected her, then closed his eyes to have some clarity. What was the matter with him? Hyde shook his head and pushed his sunglasses back where they had slipped on his nose. “I meant it, I meant it those times. But I should have said it more often with the same sentiment.”

“Well…” Jackie moved her head to one side, not looking at him but at a lost point on his fancy vest his father gave him last Christmas. “Thank you, Hyde.”

 _Except_ , Robert knew how to love and be loved, apparently.

“Yeah…” he murmured, knowing she hadn’t heard him since Rob was now standing at her side, moving a chair to sit with them. So much for a moment alone. “Forman already melted your brain with the Force?”

Robert laughed, one hand on Jackie’s back, not grabbing or squeezing in a jealous way, just—there. “Oh no, he would need more than one trick to win over my mind.” he winked at him and Hyde tried not to put on a face. “Stronger, I am”, then Jackie shook her head after that rendition to the green Muppet of the last movie.

“I’m this close,” Jackie said showing Robert her manicured nails of one hand almost touching one another, “to cancelling our marriage, honey…” she said without a real threat in her voice.

Robert looked at her, smiling, and gently patted the small of her chin. “I’ll behave, doll.”

There.

Jackie moved from his touch, eyes fixed on the empty dinner plate in front of her and Robert tried to say something, yet Jackie spoke first. “Don’t call me that,” she said in a low tone but Hyde heard it perfectly. “Please.”

“Of course,” he answered, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”

This is the part when people with common sense pretend to not have heard anything and to not remember details from a distant past, every second more nebulous; this is the part where Hyde smiles the moment Jackie looks at him, asking to stay where he is, this is when he does her this favor.

But, “Why not? It suits you, I used to call you that.” He is drunk, after all. “You have a doll face, and you are so small, you were always” (my) “a doll.”

Recognition jumped in Rob’s eyes and he looked at his side, were his fiancée was growing angry and kind of desperate, her shoulders tensed and she focused her eyes on the empty plates again.

“Thank you,  _Hyde_.” she said between teeth, now looking at her fiancée. “I just don’t like it…”

His hand was resting on her lower back, finally out Hyde’s sight and his back relaxed a little. Robert smiled at her again. “I can see that.”

“You don’t like it? Why didn’t you ever tell me?” So much for saving awkward situations.  

“It’s not…” she sighed after she stumbled with her own words. “It’s something recent, it wasn’t like that before.”

Kelso, his wife and kid were walking towards them, almost in hurry, probably noticing he was talking too much, looking at Jackie for too long. Hyde was able to see them from the corner of his eye but it was too late.

“Is it because I used to call you that?”

“Hyde, no—”

“Hey!” Kelso smiled, one hand on Hyde’s shoulder. “What you doing here? This is a party! Let’s dance! And drink!”

“I think Hyde may have had enough to drink…” Brooke suggested, sitting at Hyde’s other side. “Jackie, are you okay?” The woman just nodded, not looking at her or anyone, Robert was still looking at Hyde. “Betsy! Would you like a cupcake? There’s something very funny in the desert table at the back!”

The girl looked at her mother with a weird expression, between suspicion and disbelief, she was too smart to be a Kelso, even too smart to be Brooke’s. Ironic. Jackie sighed when the little girl looked at her, then at Robert, and then at her mother with a smile. She nodded. And before Brooke could say another thing, Betsy walked towards Hyde and tugged on his grey vest.

“God-daddy, let’s go for cupcakes.”

“Um…” he was going to say ‘no’. He liked Betsy. She was nice. And a good source of burns towards Kelso. But he wanted to keep the conversation from before, then the girl smiled at him with those big, honey sweet eyes and something inside him moved. “But… isn’t chocolate bad for you?”

“It’s a special occasion!” Brooke said, sounding happy but not convincing.

“I’ll go with you, baby!” her father answered and Hyde felt when Brooke moved her leg above his feet to kick him. “Ouch! Damn, Brooke!”

“I want to go with my godfather.” she answered, too serious and too sweet at the same time. Creepy as hell. “ _God-daddy_?” Betsy looked at Hyde again.

“Uh…”

* * *

 

When Jackie looked up, Betsy was staring at her as if she was studying her. The girl was almost five years old, and learned quickly and too damn well. So when she looked at Steven again, Jackie opened her eyes wide when her lip curved on a pout and her honey eyes went bigger than usual, while her body balanced like dancing with the small wind, looking innocent and cute, and too much like Jackie used to—

“God-daddy, pleaaaaaaaaase?”

“Damn.” he murmured, standing up and almost losing his balance but Brooke took his arm before. “Fine.”

“Okay!” Betsy said, taking his hand.

Once they walked out their sight, Jackie’s body relaxed and Robert looked at her. God. Was this a nightmare? Or was it just bad karma for the times she was mean to other people and enjoyed those other’s misery with a big smile?

If things were going to be this way, maybe she would have to listen to Donna and not invite Hyde to the wedding. Maybe… maybe she shouldn’t have pretended it was possible for them to be friends after all.

She tried to massage her own neck, ignoring the eyes locked on her but when Fez, Donna and Eric appeared, she knew it was going to be impossible to ignore what was going on.

“Everything’s all right?” asked Eric.

“Yeah,” she said. Nobody, not even her, believed it.

“Jackie, what did he say? I’ll kick his ass!” Michael offered and Jackie smiled at him. “I mean it!”

“I know. Thank you, Michael, but it’s okay. He’s drunk.”

“Oh no.” Eric started, searching his friend with his green eyes, “Truth serum Hyde? Or is it grumpy Hyde?”

“But how can he be, if he is always grumpy?” Fez said, then looked at Eric and signaled him with finger-guns. “More like, spawn of the devil Hyde.”

“Sounds legit.” Eric admitted, then looked at Jackie. “Want me to retire him from the night?”

She shook her head at the same time Robert nodded, they looked at each other for a long, tense minute before she talked again. “No, it’s okay. It was only kind of awkward.”

“What is never awkward with him, woman?” her best friend said and Jackie wanted to nod at him, but stayed still. “Told you so, he shouldn’t have come. Like. Never.”

“He is our friend…”

“Is he?” Donna asked, causing everyone to look at her. “I mean, yours. Is he  _your_  friend?”

“Look, Donna. I know what you mean. And don’t look at me like that, Robert.” Jackie crossed her arms over her chest, Rob just shrugged. “But we have to learn how to be near each other! I’m not leaving you all again just because he is part of the group and I’m not asking anyone to stop being his friend for that. Besides, we are both Betsy’s godparents… So, as long as he doesn’t do anything stupid, it’s fine.”

“It’s  _fine_?” Robert murmured and Jackie looked up, his hand was now resting on the small of her back and the cold feeling it left on her body wasn’t ignored by the petite woman.

“Yes,  **it’s**  fine. He is only drunk. Don’t worry, he never… does violent or too bad things while drunk.”

“Yes, see: he only cheats on girlfriends and marries whores while drunk.” Fez said and Robert opened his eyes with surprise, even when he knew that story from A to Z. Everyone looked at the foreign man with hard eyes. “And he hasn’t had a real girlfriend since his fake wife left, and there aren’t any whores here, so we are fineeeee.”

Jackie shook her head; this night was just—not hers. Not at all. Standing there, she just felt it, something was off and now, a night of yelling awaited her in her hotel room with her fiancée, no matter how much she tried to save this situation. Her  _want_  was just making it all worse.

A goddamn nightmare.

* * *

 

“What’s a whore, uncle Fezy?” Betsy said, standing between Kelso and Hyde’s chair.

“It’s a woman who—”

“It’ the kind of woman you will NEVER be, baby!” Kelso answered before Fez could deep or even finish his. “NEVER!”

“Okay!” then she looked back where a very slow Hyde walked to his chair and collapsed there, putting a bunch of purple cupcakes on Brooke’s plate. “Look, mommy! They’re all purple!”

“Yeah!” Brooke answered in an almost sad tone that made Hyde crack a smile. “All of them are… purple…”

“I’m gonna eat them all!” and then the little girl looked at Kelso. “Daddy! Would you help me?”

“Of course! Give me your chair, Hyde!”

The man answered by moving up as slow as before, making Donna smile and Eric try hard not to laugh. Hyde hated when people laughed at him while drunk, and they better not upset him. This was just… not his night. At all.

Soon, Kelso was sitting at his wife’s side, eating purple cupcakes with his daughter and Hyde had buried his face on his arms, trying to sleep on the table and everyone else went to talk again.

Every time Robert’s voice echoed around him, Hyde wanted to scream at him to shut up, even when he wasn’t saying anything stupid.

He heard Mrs. Forman saying goodbye at some point, he heard Red telling Jackie to stand up if she wanted one short hug, and then Donna’s laugh and Jackie’s voice telling her to suck it. Her big, pouty mouth… the one Robert didn’t like and tried hard to correct, to make it good and pure again, proper of a lady as pretty as her. That mouth. Robert didn’t get it.

“Hyde?” Brooke asked, he looked at her with one eye, the rest of his face still buried in his arms. “We’re leaving – you want us to take you home?”

“It’s okay, I’ll drive.”

“Honey, you are stupid-drunk,” she said, blunt as ever. Hyde smiled a little – she had learned well. “It’s okay, Michael can drive your car and I can pick him up after leaving Betsy in the hotel. It’s that, or your dad drives you.”

“Ugh.” he looked up completely, WB was shaking Robert’s hand while Angie and her boyfriend talked to Jackie. His sister hugged the petite woman, he looked back at Brooke. “Where’s Forman?”

“Too drunk to drive, too. Everyone but us got drunk tonight!” she complained, that part of being parents didn’t sound appealing at all to him. “Robert is driving him and Donna to the Forman’s, and is also driving Fez to his apartment.”

“Fuck.”

“Come on, get up. Betsy fell asleep, so we would like to go now.”

WB waved at his direction and Hyde smiled at his father. When his sister approached him to say goodnight and asked if she would like her boyfriend to drive him home, Hyde managed to answer without babbling and Brooke patted his shoulder with appreciation. He had good friends, didn’t he?

After all that had happened, Kelso remained loyal to his family and became the first one to get hitched, be a father, have a real job and his own place, had it all with the happy Sunday picnics and kid’s festivals at kindergarten.

Brooke took his arm, walked him towards the exit and smiled at Donna when her drunk ass yelled her goodnight, he couldn’t help but laugh at Robert’s exasperated expression.

Then, there she was, with her back leaning on the El Camino, arms crossed, talking low with Kelso. Jackie looked at him, straightening her back and walked towards Brooke.

“I’ll drive him home.”

“What?” Brooke said, her grip on Hyde’s arm had got stronger. “Jackie, he has his car here. Michael will drive it, and I’ll pick him up, don’t worry.”

“I know, I will drive El Camino. Keys?” she looked at him with her hand up, Hyde looked right into her eyes with a big interrogation on his face. “You can pick me up, Brooke. After you leave Betsy, Michael can stay with her. And you pick me up.”

“But Jackie, what about Rob?”

“He’s fine. Pissed. But I’ll deal with it later.”

He didn’t know how, but he handed her the keys before Brooke or Kelso could say anything else.

Jackie never drove El Camino before, Hyde remembered. His beloved truck was as good as new and she knew from Donna that he didn’t drive it as much nowadays, he had heard Jackie tell Robert when he arrived that afternoon. He had another car now, a gift from WB, so his baby girl only saw the light of day on  _special_  occasions.

They knew he was feeling blue when the black painting of the El Camino shone standing near wherever they were seeing the other. So when he appeared on his old love at the party, Eric tried to be at his side as much as he could, but he wouldn’t be glued forever to his friend.

It has been too many years, and there was too much silence.

She looked at him from the corner of her eye, he could tell from the second he stared at her profile before closing his, murmuring a song, his fingers drumming over his thighs and lips letting go of the soft melody.

He didn’t sing bad, that she may remember; but he also didn’t like to sing and the few times she heard him, she was always happy to listen.

“You drive well.” Hyde said when the red light made them stop, the streets were desert, but a single cop on his bike was standing under the lighting.

“My dad taught me.” she answered.  

“On the Lincoln?” she nodded, driving away from the cop.

“On the Lincoln?” then, she nodded, driving away from the cop.

His eyes were drunk in the sight of her, she had grown up from the skinny girl she was when they met. Still a doll face, still young. But her body reminded him the years that had passed since prom, all curves any man would love to explore, the ones he used to know so well. His desire for her was only growing and he needed to stop  _looking_.

“How… how is he?”

She didn’t answer. Donna told him Jackie never talked about her father, even thought she was the one who went for him when he had been freed a few months ago. After that, it seemed, she didn’t stay in contact with him. But he knew better, he just needed to get her relaxed and then talk, that way she could sleep well at night.

“Fine.”

“Have you talked to him recently? What does he think of Robert?”

“He hates Robert.” Jackie answered, then looked at him for a short few seconds. “Which is fine because Robert also dislikes him. My mom; she loves him but says, and I quote, ‘he is lover material, darling, not a husband’. Probably because he doesn’t have what my dad had when Pam Burkhart saw him on her radar.” she motioned with her hand to the front, like a hunter seeing its prey in the wild, Hyde smiled a little. “I don’t care… If my parents disapprove, it doesn’t matter. Mr. Forman likes him, that’s enough for me.”

He cleared his throat after a few seconds. “What about Mrs. Forman?”

“Hyde, Mrs. Forman was the one who told me to give him a second date.” She looked at him with a smile, “She loves him.”

She did. He nodded and stayed quiet again, until his still drunk head register the street, their little travel was about to end. “So, you got everything planned? Big party with the papers and all?”

Jackie laughed a little. “Rob wants something simple. So do I.”

“No way! Really?” he looked at her.

She nodded, then licked her bottom lip before talking again, “128 guests and only because I want my co-workers to go and he has a large family. Other than that, only friends. I don’t have many family, but you guys. Part of that big number are the Kelsos.” Obviously they were. “It’s still fancy and it must be perfect. And my dress is probably the most expensive dress I will ever have in my life, but it’s so nice! And I look like  _the_  motherfucking Queen, so that’s fine.”

“You certainly must.”

She was smiling at him, at least. “Thanks.” then, her head moved to one side. “I actually haven’t bought it, I’m trying to convince my dad to buy it. It really is expensive and there is so much to pay, too. I don’t know…” she sighed. “All my life waiting for this and I’m not prepared, I feel stupid.”

“Hey, that’s okay. I bet your savings are still a big help.” she shook her head, “No?”

“I used them for school.”

As the silence grew tense, Hyde straightened his body and looked at her in complete shock. “Really? You’ve been saving that money to get hitched for years, I’m… Well, I’m a little bit surprised.”

“So was I.” Jackie looked at him with a small smile, “Donna was proud, though. I figured… That I wasn’t getting married any time soon, so better do something for myself. College was it and I preferred to help myself that way. Now I’m regretting it hard, but hey… I have college! So it’s fine.”

“Yeah…” he smiled. “It is. You did good, Jackie.” She nodded and they went silent again.

“I’m very sorry I was such an impertinent asshole back at the party, I’m kind of drunk tonight… And also kind of… I don’t know. I’ve been thinking of the past.”

“And your heart is beating fast?”

He showed her the finger and she laughed. Her laugh was still the best sound he had ever savored. “Yeah, I did actually kind of lose control, huh? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She sighed again, entering the parking lot of Hyde’s apartment building. “I don’t like being called ‘doll’ because you used to.”

“I figured.”

“There are things… that belong to only you in my mind, and I would like it to stay that way. At least for a while… Until it fades away.” It was his turn to nod, then he instructed her to a park.

Once the engine was killed, they stayed sitting in the silence and the dark, something unspoken was floating around them and Hyde cleared his throat.

“I will always have feelings for you, you know? And It’s not like—with Michael, it’s completely different. For a long time I thought, you were  _it_. The One. But now, I—” a pause, her lips were shivering and she squeezed her eyes closed, taking air and courage to finish. “I have Robert. And I’m… happy, so… maybe it wasn’t a good idea to invite you to the party.”

“Yeah, I thought that too.”

“Really? Okay, then… okay.”

Hyde took off his sunglasses, they were too heavy and her breathing was making the air around him too hard for his lungs. He needed to get out there, like always, just run and then deny something like this had happened.

But she also needed a phone, and there was no way Hyde was letting her go use the one in the street at this hour and in that dress. After what felt like years, he spoke again and she nodded almost reluctant to his offer, she wasn’t risking her neck either.

“Steven?” she murmured, Hyde looked at her, ready for the next kick. “I forgot to ask Brooke and Michael for their hotel’s number…”

“Shit.”

The way she was looking at him, there was something familiar in it. Like mischief before bed and her laughing bliss the morning after. Her shoulders moved, that pearl dress didn’t leave a lot to the imagination when it came to her—there it goes. She was laughing.

It reminded him of another scene on his El Camino. But that time, she wasn’t laughing, she wasn’t this damn happy for a mistake. He had cried after she left that time; staying put on the car, his baby protected his vulnerability as he moistened his eyes for the first time in years, and he had fucked up. The first big fuck up against her from him.

Nobody knew that detail, not even her. She didn’t leave now, she only laughed, occupying his spot at the wheel, trying hard to calm down and just stop laughing.

With a hand over her mouth, she tried to silence the glory of her happy error, looking at him with shining eyes. Jackie wasn’t drunk, she was just happy. Even if back in the party she seemed like she wanted to kill him.

“You take the Camino, but bring her back as she is.” he suggested, she opened her eyes wide and bright. Fuck.

“Really? You trust me with your baby?”

This was ridiculous. He never even suggested her to drive his car before, she was marrying some guy she had been dating for only five or six months, and only now he let her know he did trust her. Fucked up, man.

Something inside him started to pick at his throat, and he waited for her to finally kick him out to his apartment, or say something else.

“Thank you, Steven.”

“Uh.” he exclaimed, she moved her head to one side, that sweet curiosity radiating from her face. “You called me Steven,” he explained, “you haven’t done that in months…”

“Oh, yeah.” she laughed again, her hands caressing the wheel. “I always call you ‘Steven’ in my mind, I just…”

“Why did you stop, then?”

“Well, everyone else calls you ‘Hyde’. I just thought—” Jackie sighed, then looked at him, her cheeks just a little pink. “I don’t know, okay? I just don’t know why.”

Everyone else calls him Hyde, but she has never been ‘everyone else’. Good point. “It doesn’t matter, man.” he added, trying to dismiss the theme and the rest of the questions popping on his mind. “It was just weird hearing you said it.”

It was fucking torture, man. She talking to him as if she wasn’t the only person who wasn’t family in the world that called him by his name. Her call had always been so intimate, and even then, he had lost it.

“I guess, yes…”

A too-silent Jackie was never a good thing, Hyde recognized. From the way she was looking at her own fingers, she was probably noticing the same and soon the tension between them started to act as alcohol on him, grabbing her hand to simply caress the inside of it.

“Why are you getting married, Jackie?” he murmured. “It feels rushed…”

“It’s not.”

“Are you pregnant or something?”

“Steven!” her hand flew away from him and she opened the door, one leg outside. “You are such a dillhole!” she looked at him and Hyde sighed, ready for the rant. “I’m getting married because that’s what I want! I’ve been ready for years! And Rob loves me, wants to spend his life with me, and we are good together! So of course I said yes when he asked.” She paused, maybe waiting for him to say something in return. Noticing it wouldn’t happen, she finally said “That’s what people do when they want to be together.”

“Okay.” He said, a little smile on his face and a douchebag headache burning his brain. “Then, why you don’t look happy?”

Jackie didn’t answer right away, instead she entered the car again and closed the door, playing with her hair before clearing her throat. “I  _am_  happy, Steven.”

“Really?” he laughed, just a single snort before arching his eyebrows with a smirk. “You also never said you love Robert during that spee—”

“What the fuck do you want,  _Hyde_?”

Her tone was enough to know she wasn’t playing nor answering any of his drunken questions, but if she was stubborn, he was the king. “I thought you were only going to get married if you were in love.”

To be honest, he didn’t mean to sound like such a prick, like he was making fun of her. No man, he was making fun of him. Like a goddamn masochist, he wanted her to hate him, insult him, maybe slap him for throwing in her face the way things were between them at the end.

This was him fucking up with her again, otherwise Jackie would insist in staying in his life, but her as his friend? No, that was something he would never be able to live with.

But Jackie as The One, even if she got away. That was her place in his life now, no matter if she didn’t seem to understand it. If she wasn’t for him and with him, then he preferred to see her at a distance, like when he was younger and he didn’t feel the crazy shit that hit his entire body when they kissed for the first time. Yes, adoring her from a distance, that was enough for him.

“You should be in love with him.”

“Love never gave me any of this.” she said, her eyes glued to his jeans and her arms closed over her chest, impeding him from seeing her breasts go up and down with her breathing.

She was angry.

Then, she looked up at him. “What would you know, anyway? Don’t fucking dare to judge me when you married someone you didn’t even know and decided to stay with that person without thinking about further consequences or–!”

“Or what?” if she was going to yell, so was he. Anyone who passed the Camino at the moment would think they were getting a divorce.

“It doesn’t matter! You did it anyway! Go to your place and let me live.”

He arched an eyebrow at her, “This is my car…”

“Unbelievable.” Taking off the keys from the switch, she threw them at his face and Hyde savored metal from his lips, she had truly hit him.

Jackie walked outside the car in hurry, the door’s guard wished her goodnight when she passed him and Hyde knew he needed to stop her. Her dress wasn’t too short, but it didn’t have damn sleeves or actual material covering her collarbone, and her breasts looked especially good tonight.

The guard gave him a knowing smile; Hyde only shook his head. Man, no. No like this.

“Jackie!”

“Stop following me or I swear I scream!”

“Fucking crazy as always…” in two strides he was grabbing her arm; it didn’t matter how much she walked, her high heels barely let her be. Run? Not an option. “Calm down, calm down!”

“He—!”

“Fuck!” he had put a hand on her mouth, the same hand she had bit and now was looking at him with wide open eyes. No surprise, only anger. “What is the matter with you? Take the damn car and leave!”

“What is the matter with YOU!?” she said. Hyde could feel the building’s guard eyes on his back. They were about to give him a great soap scene. “I’m trying to be polite to you even when I shouldn’t! You treat me like shit for months and months, even when I did nothing but love you! You never deserved any of that, I should have never thought you were capable of allowing something good in your life! Why would you try to make me feel bad now that I finally have what I wanted!?”

“This is what you want!?” he signaled the street with his arm, ignoring the way his heart started to rise when she finally admitted to being too much for him. One thing was everyone believing and some of them telling him, but her? “Having a wedding you don’t even have idea of what to do with? A wedding without the damn stupid dress you were always talking about just because you want your father to buy it? Please! I know you, Jackie, and I know you would move heaven, sea and dirt to get your shallow hands on it! That’s the first thing you would have buy, not do a list of who are you inviting.” she didn’t seem to mind anything he was saying but her eyes betrayed her, she was about to cry because of him. Again. “What was what you said? 128 guests and just because Robert has a large family? Man, I can’t even number the times you said when you get married, ev—”

“He is not you!”

For the first time in the night, Hyde noticed her make up. It was so natural and well applied, he thought she wasn’t using any. Her face was frightened though, and she found a way to correct the news, but the damage was done. It didn’t matter what she said next, it was all clear now.

“All—all those plans I told you was because we were together, Steven. Every relationship is different.”

“Sure, man.” he answered. Suddenly, he didn’t care about anything, something had jumped alive on his chest and it was now or never. “I will always have feelings for you, too.”

Slowly, his eyes followed the curve of her breasts, up her collarbone, her neck, those pink lips, and finally, her mind-blowing mismatched eyes, shining with that old melancholy of earlier tonight and something else just as old as their feelings.

“I still do.”

Jackie shivered under his stare and Hyde swallowed but didn’t quite register doing it. He needed to stop, this was getting too far. Yet—

“Steven?” Her shoulders were filled with goosebumps, he saw them when they first appeared and the sight of it make him almost moan. “Why are you doing this?”

After what felt like a lifetime, he looked into her eyes and murmured, “I don’t know…”

Finally, she smiled and took the keys he had on his right hand, slowly passing him as she walked back to the El Camino.

“You never do.” she said.

Giving him her back, she looked like a dream to him. All this mess was just surreal. Tomorrow he wouldn’t be invited to the rest of her happy marriage events, and she will have to nurse Robert through his hangover, standing in her reality.

“Don’t look at me like that, Steven.”

Hyde swallowed, walking towards her, a smirk on his lips. He couldn’t help it. He knew this chick too well.

She was damn horny, as well.

* * *

 

“1… 2… 3… deep breath… 1… 2… 3… deep breath…”

Count and breathe until you calm down, it was something the cheerleaders used to do when they got little panic attacks during competitions and games.

Jackie never used it, she was always ready for the public, always happy to go out too. But she knew how to do it, anyway. They all did. Now, she was using it to cope from another episode of her life irrupted by Steven Hyde.

He had walked her to the El Camino again, none of them touching the theme they just wrecked into each other’s face in the middle of the night. All he had said was heavy on her shoulders, she just wanted to go back to her hotel room and rest since, sadly, what she really wanted at the moment was probably already asleep with all the damn alcohol he consumed. She needed to stop dating drunk guys.

“And you are marrying the guy, honey!” she laughed to her own face.

Robert was no better than Steven in that matter.

He got drunk constantly and liked to have control over every single situation on their lives, it crushed hard with her own desire of control and never seemed to get the clue that he needed to let her have some from time to time.

Other than that, he was lovely. Lame at times, what with the nerd shit he loved to write about and talk to with Eric, but always a sweetheart to her.

Another lovely drinker.

“Okay, deep breath… 1… 2… 3…”

She wanted to make love, had been thinking of it for hours by now and her stupid fiancé was probably sleeping now, so Robert wasn’t an option and she didn’t felt like helping herself out in some hotel bathroom. And the El Camino? Oh no. It would only give back too many memories she better bury for the rest of her life.

Worst part, she had another option. “Jesus, fuck… Jackie, just leave!” she told to herself. Then started again, “1… 2… 3… deep breath…”

Fucking Steven with his bullshit. Where was that honesty and those feelings a year ago? Why couldn’t he go yell at her these things during one of his eternal drunken nights before she left? Did he needed to see her with someone else to understand she needed to move on, that she wouldn’t stay there just waiting for him to want her again?

Maybe it would just pass and soon he would go back to his usual assholery and loneliness.

He was walking away from her life again at the moment, slowly taking the stairs to the principal door of his building and sharing some words with the guard.

Jackie bit her bottom lip. Initiated the car, “1… 2… 3…”, saw him shake hands with the other man, “deep breath…”, and stop there.

Steven looked back at the El Camino, his sunglasses back on. “1… 2… 3…”, but even as it was impossible, she could feel the deep blue of his eyes on her back and once again, her skin felt hot as goosebumps filled her entire body. “1… 2…”

Her fingers were withe on the wheel, she was going to lose him again, maybe this time for good. “2… 3…” so she killed the engine.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! Maybe I'll see you on [my tumblr](http://jacquelineshyde.tumblr.com/)? Have a good day!


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